David M. Bailey: Ganas de vivir vs. cáncer

¡Hay que tener ganas de vivir!

*Advertencia: este es otro de mis posts no simpáticos. De esos que nadie comenta. De los que se empiezan a leer y se llega hasta la tercera línea. Así que ya. Ya van por la tercera. Es el momento de irse de esta casita, de meterse en Pandora y olvidarse de lo que es el cáncer y lo que le cuesta a un hombre luchar con tumores, craneotomías, quimioterapias y familia devastada.

¡Hay que tener ganas de vivir! El cáncer es una condición que aniquila hasta el alma, que corroe las ganas de vivir, mata la ilusión de vivir mañana, de levantarse de la cama; de ir a otra revisión médica para que te digan, “¡qué bien te ves!” después de haber mirado en el espejo una imagen tuya ajena a la que conocías.

Esta entrada se debería llamar “David Bailey again”. Es la cuarta entrada que protagoniza en esta casita; no por guapo, ni por talentoso. David M. Bailey es la persona que más deseos tiene de vivir que yo conozca. Confieso que me gana. Y eso, ya es bastante. Mi Intruso no vino con cáncer; que sepamos. Ha sido el mismo Intruso tres veces –o sea- “recurrente”.

Los de David son muchos, una especie de semillero en distintas partes de la cabeza. Para conocer sobre su historia, música, y próximos conciertos está su página Web. Allí también podemos acercarnos a su sonrisa llena de paz. Los trabajos de David, también se encuentran en iTunes y YouTube. Te puedes conectar con él en facebook. Y si le escribes un email, te lo contesta personalmente.

Después de estar en remisión durante varios años, apareció otro tumor. Supimos sobre cada etapa del nuevo procedimiento, por su equipo de oración interactivo. Hasta del momento en que entraba a la sala de neurocirugía, cuando despertó de la anestesia, y todas esas etapas que tan bien conocemos los que hemos estado ahí.

Por bendición del Cielo no ha perdido la capacidad cognitiva ni el talento por crear verso y música. Hoy, replico sus nuevos versos. Todavía no los escucho cantados, pronto será. Por mi parte, quiero que David sepa que quiero extender su mensaje de ganas de vivir, de fe y esperanza; "Love the time, all the time". Mientras, “David, thank you so much!”

May 15

Sometimes hope is just as fragile as it seems

A solitary thread tangled in your dreams

If you can only find the end and pull it out

You could tie a brand new knot around your doubt

And as doubt began to fade and then to choke

Hope would smile like it was some old joke

A favorite punch line she loves to re-invoke

A little bit bent but not at all broke

But sometimes hope is NOT as fragile as she seems

A thick rope ladder to lift you to your dreams

If you can just get your feet on the first rung

You can start to climb your way out of the dung

You know – all that stuff that keeps you tethered down

I just don’t have time for that sound

Ready, set, go, see you on the other side

Nobody wanted to take this rides

But here we are – I guess we still have a choice

Let’s give hope back her voice

May 16 Rehab Rant Rap

You tell me I’m unsteady – as if I didn’t know
So you put me in a wheelchair and push me nice and slow
We reach our destination as soft as summer rain
No falls, no spills, no pain, and zero gain
But hey, your job is safe and the lawyers cannot speak

Meanwhile I’m still unsteady for at least another week

This is therapy? This is your grand plan?
I’d rather be unsteady and hold my head up like a man

I’m not a child or a cripple or a raving lunatic
maybe if you just keep saying it, I’ll believe I’m sick

Then you can teach me to fear, to second guess and doubt
But that’s really not the way I intend to work this out

May 18 Hard

Lord, if you had told me it was gonna be this hard
I just don’t know if I would have played my cards
I suppose it might not matter in the end
The game goes on and you cannot pretend

Like a river, time keeps on its steady flow
And you follow though you know not where it goes
The path of peace rarely smells like a rose
There’s always one more thorn to make you bleed
In the end you usually get more than you need

So yes, it may be harder than you thought
But hard is just one chapter of the plot
It sets up the final victory lap
Perhaps right now you just need a good long nap

May 19 Better Days

I’ve heard it said that there are better days ahead
But then I’ve never not believed that is true
Sometimes we only see the darkest things instead
Which I guess is a normal thing to do

But when the morning sun at last begins to lift
Dig deep and celebrate the gift
I’m tellin you, it’s worth the mental shift

Even a grey sky is mostly filled with light
A bad choice can be based on what is right
You made it through the darkest of the nights
the sunrise of hope is quite a sight

May 22 Dawn

Do not be afraid I used to say
Well, I’m not – but I am a bit perplexed
I learned how to live all day today
But you never can tell what’s coming next

I survived a travesty that could have been a tragedy
It took the very best of me to find a little harmony

And when the song was sweeter than I ever thought it could be
I understood the silence of the night

It’s not anything I’d wanna hear again
It sounded dangerous and deep and dark and still

It made me crazy waiting for the morning
But when you think it won’t arrive – it will

May 24 Sometimes

Sometimes, things just don’t make sense
Sometimes, confusion seems to win
Sometimes, the heart can get so tense
Sometimes that’s when healing can begin

Sometimes the journey can get lonely
Sometimes you feel you’re all alone
Look again, you’ll see that it is only
Then when your courage will have grown

Sometimes the future seems uncertain
But that’s the way it’s actually always been
You cannot know what’s behind the curtain
Sometimes that’s when healing can begin

Sometimes happens all the time
It’s too easy to let it pass you by
When you find you’re in the middle of a moment
Take a breath and watch your spirit fly

May 25 Never Been

Never been this beat up
Never been this bruised
Never been this broken
Or this confused

Dunno when it will get better
Dunno how long it will last
But I’m looking to the future
When this will be in the past

I’ll look back and I’ll remember
These days were pretty rough
The question will be answered:
Will I have been tough enough?

I thought I was a superman
But I met my kryptonite
I’m just a middle-aged folksinger
And I’m tired of this fight

And so the search for peace continues
And I still put my faith in holy hope
Sometimes it’s a single tangled thread
But usually it hold me like a rope

And if I ever needed that I need it now
The what & why can wait – I'm just trying to learn the how

(Foto, desde www.davidmbailey.com)